idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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