She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
