You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
