yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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