Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
