Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
