i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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