Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
