Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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