is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
