Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im drinking this country out of the recession.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize