They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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