i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
