stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize