My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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