Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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