dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
