What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Randomize
