im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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