I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
