Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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