Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
