i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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