I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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