It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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