Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize