Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
