he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
