the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's shark week go big or go home
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
