HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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