I seem to have left my pride at pride
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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