make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
