Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
and you fell through a lawn chair
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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