I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
soo... how was my night?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
