you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize