bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
