all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
