Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
