eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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