My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Randomize
