Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
