This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
