So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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