i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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