what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
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I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize