I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
