MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
