Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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