Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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