Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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