he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
