Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
