I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
