oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
