Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
