what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize