How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
