The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
