When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
