im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
