omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
sex in a hospital.. check
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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