Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
