No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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