People with herpes should wear stickers.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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