We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
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You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
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Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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