His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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