I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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